Predicting the future is a facetious endeavor, but, since everyone does it and I don’t want to be left out, here’s my list of predictions for A.D. 2015. Some are jokes, some are actual attempts at foretelling the future, but, since such activity is laughable anyway, perhaps they’re all just jokes.

• Uncharted 4 will be delayed into 2016. It won’t be the only game that is “pushed back.”
• Bonuses for Nintendo’s executives will also be delayed into 2016.
• Twitter will change its name to Bitter to better reflect the attitude of its users. “Tweets” will become “Bites.”
• Inside Out, Pixar’s first movie in two years, will be the first financial flop for the company.
• Microsoft will offer an Xbox One with Kinect but no standard controller. It will be called the Wee One.
• Pillars of Eternity, Kickstarter project from Obsidian, will finally be released, over a year late. It will still be a bug-ridden mess.
• Mel Kiper, Jr. will say “lig” (league) 562 times during the first round of the NFL draft.
• North Korea will hack the BBC. No one will notice until “Sherlock” doesn’t air.
• Bethesda will announce Fallout 4.
• Bethesda plays a clip of Ron Perlman saying, “War. War never changes.” The LA Convention center explodes from the mass outburst of the attendees.
• Steam sales will hit the tipping point and Valve will start paying people to download games.
• As a result, Valve’s stock will go up.
• Somebody will sue Valve over a line of copyrighted code in their Steam OS.
• Valve’s stock will go up again.
• May 1, 2015, will be the largest absentee day in the history of the United States.
• Peter Jackson will announce a fifteen-part film of The Silmarillion.
• Despite extensive writing about how much I hate the luck involved in fantasy football, I will still play at least two leagues come next season.
• Tom Brady will retire from New England and sign with an SEC school, saying he wants to go out facing tougher competition than the AFC East.
• The first game between Johnny Manziel and Jameis Winston is cancelled for lack of effort.
• The rate of poorly-sourced, false “news” stories outnumbers true stories at the rate of 1.2 to 1. People don’t care.
• Andrew Luck shaves off his beard and can no longer find a helmet small enough for his head.
• “Petspreading” becomes the next big controversy as people complain the sheer volume of animal pictures is going to shut down the Internet.
• The Catholic Church sues New Orleans for associating football violence with the saints. Until people point out there’s nothing particularly violent about the New Orleans Saints.
• The number of people who play video games will increase.
• The number of people complaining about the “casual” players ruining gaming will also increase.
• A teen programmer will release a simple game that is widely derided as being the worst example of gaming in existence. It will be downloaded 50,000,000 times and the teen will retire rich.
• Thus leading to even more nasty blogs about the teen, the game, and the 50,000,000 people who play the game.
• Some of whom will be the people writing the nasty blogs.
• Amazon will introduce Prime Plus, which will examine your purchase history and deliver products you want before you order them.
• I will finally finish my next Betty Sterling novel.

Happy New Year! Remember, you only have 365 days until 2016.